Thursday, November 27, 2014

My Mind is Not My Enemy

Look. Look. That's the place for us. High, lonely hills, where the wind and the sound carry, and the ground's as dry as straw in a barn. That's where we ought to be. That's where we have to get to. Fiver (Watership Down)
Someone asked me a little while ago why I named this blog, A High, Lonely Place. You see, very early on, psychiatrist tried to teach me that my mind was broken, that it was my enemy... but my mind has never been my enemy. In my mind, I have been to Hogwarts, down the rabbit hole to tea with the mad hatter and the March hare, solved cases with Sherlock, heard the call of the Tardis in the darkness, and alternated between saving the world and needing to be saved from it. You see, that's what it's really all about. It's what it has always been about... saving myself.
I never built hedges against the night... my mind built those for me. It created this high, lonely place, where I could see for miles, both ahead and behind me. Unlike many people who have been classified as mentally ill, I have never been afraid of being alone. I am not terrified of the sound of the voice in my head or the reflection of my life in my mind's eye. I'm safe there. I've always been safe there. It's out there with the rest of you that I falter, and that's not controlling behavior or agoraphobia, that's life experience.

No comments:

Post a Comment